The RSS Anxiety Disorder Checklist

Your RSS Stresses Me!Happening across an article called “RSS Anxiety Disorder” today, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Come on, anxiety about an XML format? Then again, the stink on rss-public has gotten a little crazy at times.

This whole idea of an RSS Anxiety Disorder has started to make me a little nervous. What if I have it? What if I’m just one partial-text description away from a complete meltdown?

So, using scientific research and comprehensive questionnaires*, I have compiled the following checklist to help you discover your risk for this debilitating disorder:

RSS Anxiety Disorder Checklist

  1. Is your self-esteem linked to the results of feedvalidator.org?
  2. Do you ever worry about starting a flamewar with Dave Winer?
  3. Do you check your FeedBurner stats more than once a day?
  4. Have you fought with your spouse over whether full-text feeds can be monetized?
  5. Do you ever feel that you are being stalked by Atom zealots?
  6. Have you actually tried any of Guy’s ideas on sucking up to an A-List blogger?
  7. What will Dave Winer think?To calm yourself while making a public speech, have you ever imagined Robert Scoble or Shel Israel in the audience, naked?
  8. Have you ever had a nightmare where you so irritated an RSS Board member that they resigned?
  9. Have you ever read through a checklist on whether you have RSS Anxiety Disorder?

Now, tally your results…

  • You answered “No” to all questions: Congratulations. You neither have RSS Anxiety Disorder, nor do you know what RSS is. However, you wasted 2 minutes of your life reading something that is neither funny nor interesting to you. You’re not anxious, you’re just bored. Here, look at the funny enema picture. Ha ha!
  • You answered “Yes” to 1 or 2 questions: You’re probably safe, for now. Have an uneasy laugh at this whole business, and go back to reading the RSS Blog.
  • You answered “Yes” to 3-5 questions: You may already be making bad choices. If you are single, your love life is probably in serious trouble. (Unless you’re female, and pretty, and work for Google.)
  • You answered “Yes” to 6 or more questions: Therapy awaits. I bet you think this blog is about you. **

Its so over.


* This is a bold-faced lie.
** This is probably true.
*** This is never actually used.

Flickr images by mfcrisp, gweedo, and jessamyn

4 Responses to “The RSS Anxiety Disorder Checklist”

  1. Randy Charles Morin Says:

    yyynynnny

    I’m already married, so am I OK?

  2. Rogers Cadenhead Says:

    Have you ever had a nightmare where you so irritated an RSS Board member that they resigned?

    All the time.

  3. Rob Fay Says:

    It seems the WebMD author was grasping at straws and looking to fill a required post, to be honest. In fact, if you read the original post by John, it has nothing to do with the anxiety she describes. Personally, I have more anxiety surrounding my need to stay on top of all of the feeds I subscribe to rather than the fear that something I post could be inaccurate and unerasable from the Internet annals.

    Perhaps it’s my background practicing psychotherapy that has my panties in a bunch, but I get concerned when the DSM-IV increases diagnosable mental health “diseases” - I would not be surprised it “RSS anxiety” is taken seriously, considering there is already a diagnosis’ of caffeine-related psychiatric disorders.

    Actually, what gives me the most anxiety is that I was familiar with most of your linked references from your checklist. To think that we visit similar sites gives me a ton of anxiety ;)

  4. Randy Charles Morin Says:

    Rob, that’s some serious anxiety problem. I subscribe to several hundred feeds. Staying on top of them all would cause my brain to explode.