Happening across an article called “RSS Anxiety Disorder” today, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Come on, anxiety about an XML format? Then again, the stink on rss-public has gotten a little crazy at times.
This whole idea of an RSS Anxiety Disorder has started to make me a little nervous. What if I have it? What if I’m just one partial-text description away from a complete meltdown?
So, using scientific research and comprehensive questionnaires*, I have compiled the following checklist to help you discover your risk for this debilitating disorder:
- Is your self-esteem linked to the results of feedvalidator.org?
- Do you ever worry about starting a flamewar with Dave Winer?
- Do you check your FeedBurner stats more than once a day?
- Have you fought with your spouse over whether full-text feeds can be monetized?
- Do you ever feel that you are being stalked by Atom zealots?
- Have you actually tried any of Guy’s ideas on sucking up to an A-List blogger?
- To calm yourself while making a public speech, have you ever imagined Robert Scoble or Shel Israel in the audience, naked?
- Have you ever had a nightmare where you so irritated an RSS Board member that they resigned?
- Have you ever read through a checklist on whether you have RSS Anxiety Disorder?
Now, tally your results…
- You answered “No” to all questions: Congratulations. You neither have RSS Anxiety Disorder, nor do you know what RSS is. However, you wasted 2 minutes of your life reading something that is neither funny nor interesting to you. You’re not anxious, you’re just bored. Here, look at the funny enema picture. Ha ha!
- You answered “Yes” to 1 or 2 questions: You’re probably safe, for now. Have an uneasy laugh at this whole business, and go back to reading the RSS Blog.
- You answered “Yes” to 3-5 questions: You may already be making bad choices. If you are single, your love life is probably in serious trouble. (Unless you’re female, and pretty, and work for Google.)
- You answered “Yes” to 6 or more questions: Therapy awaits. I bet you think this blog is about you. **
* This is a bold-faced lie.
** This is probably true.
*** This is never actually used.