Lessons of the Implicit
Lately I’ve been struck by the implicit lessons we teach our kids by the way their lives interact with our own. This is probably an insight of the obvious, but I wonder how many parents, myself included, consider the implied things we teach our kids.
For example, I spoke with a neighbor’s child today, asking him if he was home from school. He and his brother replied, “No, our mom’s alarm didn’t go off this morning. We’ll go tomorrow.” The school these children attend are literally a mile up the road, mind you.
Now, I don’t doubt that in the past their mom has said things along these lines… the explicit lessons:
- “School is important.”
- “Learning is important. If you don’t do well in school, you won’t get a good job.”
- “Hurry up! Don’t make me late for [whatever]”
- “Don’t lie to me.”
So as these kids languished around the house today because mom slept in, might not some of these be the implicit lessons they learn?
- “My sleep is more important than your school. ”
- “Since you’d be late for 1st period, there’s no point in going the rest of the day.”
- “Learning isn’t that important. If you go tomorrow, you won’t miss anything.”
- “It doesn’t matter if I make you late.”
- “It’s okay for me to lie to avoid revealing my laziness. (I’ll write a note saying you were sick.)”
I give my kid quite a bit of sage advice. I wonder what he really learns when I’m not talking.
